OK, so here we are again. Let's do some blogging this time, eh? In a way, perhaps it's not such a bad thing that we got nowhere last week with the hypochondriac, since we found something so much more organic to our general premise! This is our chance to explore Chance's reaction to his quarter life crisis (QLC). The impending day looms large and daunting in his brain. What will it make him do...
I sure like the idea of playing off the angel/devil Morgan/Jimmy influence angle. It sounds like it would work really well if Jimmy is a bit younger, but so much better situated in his life than Chance. It would create a bigger obstacle for him, in that he feels pressure to get his act together when his friend is ahead of him in terms of progress in his life.
Likewise, I think it sets up Morgn to mentor him as the angel on his other shoulder if she is a few years older (like maybe 28). It just feels right for her character, too. She's savvy, insightful, and knows human nature. She's like a gentle old soul, it seems to me from what we've made of her so far.
So Chance is dreading the big two-five (maybe he even calls it something like that because he can't bring himself to even utter the number twenty-five in this context). He wants it to go away, because it represents what he HASN'T accomplished yet in life. He doesn't want to celebrate. But Jimmy talks him into doing something. He eases Chance into it by suggesting just the two of them go out. But he has a bigger plot in store. He knows this is a big deal to Chance, and he's got the big idea to "force" him to celebrate and accept it. This way, his efforts can actually end up helping Chance get through it and move on in his life, but on Jimmy's terms.
Maybe it's even Jimmy actually planning a formal "surprise party" at the Nowhere. He can tell Chance to meet him there at closing, and they'll go out from there. Then, when Chance shows up, he expects a dark coffee house, closed and ready for Jimmy to depart, but then opens the door and BANG; surprise, parents and all.
As far as including the parents, that has to either be totally planned, and Chance is aware and expecting them (dealing with the fact that they're coming), or it's a total surprise and he has to deal with it when they're right there in front of him.
I think Morgan should really save the day, too. That will be a great catalyst for their friendship to deepen.
I just don't know what the big decision is, or thing he has to deal with, accept and get past. He needs a clear objective for the overall story. I don't think it can just be "surviving the day" or "getting through the 25th birthday". The idea of using the parents and playing off them seems like there's potential, but what is it exactly that he wants? What does he DO in the end to make everything better for himself? And how is that influenced by Jimmy/Morgan? Can they all end up being winners? Jimmy did a bad thing by setting Chance up with a surprise, knowing he really didn't want it. But it turns out to be great because it's where Chance ends up resolving some big issue. Morgan, of course, can be her ususal politically correct self. Perhaps she has some insight into the value of family or something that helps Chance see the light.
Anyway, I just wanted to get this thing started ASAP. Let's blog this sucker out, and get a beat list together so Spencer and Stu can work from there. We've got to work very fast if they are going to write it this week and present it on Sunday!
Yeah, too bad I'm the only mouth doing any talking on here. Shame, really. But, oh well, at least we have seven webisodes drafted... Too bad everyone isn't super gung ho about all this. But we'll get some good work done on Sunday, so that's a bonus. But this is our last story to break down into beats. Losing momentum in the end is just a bummer.
Class, I am definitely on the side of a younger Jimmy and an older Morgan. It feels right to both the show and the episode. Having Chance feel older and less accomplished than his best friend gives him reason to feel shame and embarrassment.
While I like the Nowhere and spending time there seemed to be thematic of the show, I think it’d be nice to start the show in a bar with Chance desperately wanting to get home. In a quick page we could establish a) his birthday and b)his adamance to celebrate. Perhaps he hasn’t eaten everything all day and gets tipsy quite fast, and wants to be rushed home. Jimmy takes him home to find his entire family and friends at his house with a surprise party. I like getting him back to the apartment because it gives him nowhere to run: home should be a place of comfort, and to have his space invaded would give a large impact and also be more surprising than Chance having to go somewhere to be surprised. What do you guys think? It seems Morgan could be the one who set it up at his house with Jimmy as the distraction.
This puts us, on page two at his birthday party, at home, with family, Jimmy, and Morgan.
I’ve always been drawn to the contrast between Chance’s father and Chance’s mothers husband. To have pops as an outspoken, liberty loving sweetheart with a fried brain, and Chance’s step-dad as a tail between his legs follower type, it could show quickly how the relationship didn’t work, as well as how controlling and demanding his mother can be. Then we can use that relationship to contrast his mother’s caring, matronly side giving her three dimensionality: tyrannical, compassionate, and realist. Even though the parents lives are much different: I think their greatest source of conflict with one another should be similarities: stubborn, opinionated folk make great conflict. At the same time their overbearing decisive nature can eclipse Chance’s opportunity to
In my mind the entire party and cast should be a surprise to Chance and a great shock. At the same time, we have to introduce in that opening scene between Jimmy/Chance what the conflict is that he must overcome in this episode.
In class we talked about Morgan pretending to be his girlfriend. I think idea has potential, but it would seem to take over as the conflict. I think if this was the case, the big breakthrough would be Chance being straightforward and honest with his parents. It seems the conflict would grow if we have a few different facets of Chance’s character that they have long-assumed. Perhaps they think he is going to be a doctor or want to push his career in a certain way. Maybe mom thinks he should move back home so she can help him get his life on track. If we had three or so different issues that his mother/parents keep pushing on him then his big breakthrough at his end could be coming clean. While his mother will get pissed, she could goto Morgan to brag about how proud her son has made her by standing up for himself. The episode could arc with Chance being passive and complaining, and end with him being strong, assertive and outspoken. This could instill a real sense of pride and confidence in our character who is having trouble dealing with his QLC. It definitely needs more flesh but the week is passing quickly.
So my beats so far as something like this:
Chance and Jimmy at a bar. Chance complaining he doesn’t want to be there, wanting to go home and eat. Jimmy asks for a few more minutes, pressuring him to have a second drink and relax. He believes not everyone can have the great luck he has had in life, and that Chance is free to continue mooching off his good fortune.
By the time they get home, Chance is pretty out of it. Surprise! His entire family. The parents have, by now, assumed he is dating Morgan, who doesn’t have the heart to say otherwise (do we want Carly there too, making it uncomfortable and giving chance more reason to feel out of sorts?). His dad loves what he has done with the place (Morgan cleaned it) and his mother thinks he is going to move home when his lease is up. Chance can barely get a word in sideways. Some sort of assumption of medical or law school should be setup as well?
Eventually the lies snowball until Chance is cornered and can either be passive or take action. His action is to clean the slate, denounce Morgan as his girlfriend, admit she left him for Carly, that he is not in medical school and he will not be moving home. Is this enough of a revelation to carry the episode?
His mother should leave mad and Morgan can follow her to be a comfort. Dad should be baked and proud of his son for being himself, even if it is a deadbeat like his father. Jimmy has some feelings, any thoughts? Where should we end?
I liked the idea that Jimmy set Chance up as something that he's not and feels he has to live up to. Whereas on the other side, (angel) Morgan, may go along reluctantly, but thinks that Chance should be himself. So Chance is pressured to feel that he has all these obligation, and at the end he realizes that Morgan was right and somehow tells/shows his parents the truth.
Adam, That is a good call. If Jimmy is the one who propagates the lies, Chance's effort to be truthful will counteract his habitual Jimmy following (an element Stu and I both want to explore) as well as show his growth as a human. What lies are you guys feeling would be symbolic of his growth? The Morgan as pretend girlfriend is what we were tossing around, but I think having three falsities would be stronger. Our chance variables seem to revolve around a) women b) school c)career and d) social issues.
Well if you guys are dead set on doing it that way then I don’t want to fight anybody on it. I think the best thing at this point is just to make Chance, Jimmy and Morgan the best they can be.
What I mean by that exactly is making sure they’re very different. I don’t think it’s enough that have different backgrounds or taste, but just completely different ways of thinking.
I think if Jimmy does one thing, Morgan should want something different, and Chance still should be different still. I think when Chance is doing one thing, and Jimmy is doing the same thing or Morgan’s doing the same thing, it makes their characters bleed together.
I’m not just talking about this script, but all of them, even if we have to tweak. I don’t know, it's kind of late at this point, but it’s something to keep in mind I guess. I really have nothing else to add, but still if it could be helpful in some small way then that’s good… right?
I would hope that our efforts make this the best it can be.
I know I'm a lazy asshole, but I'm finally blogging!
Adam - Having Chance pick a major would definitely be another step in the "right" direction for his character, but I think we risk losing some of the variety in the show's premises. A lot of the premises derive from Chance's current major.
Me and Spencer are currently working on the script, we plan to have it completed by tomorrow afternoon/evening.
Oh, I don't mean he actually picks a major, I just mean somehow it's implied that he has, and his parents think he has, so he has to go along with that, but maybe he keeps getting the majors mixed up.
The idea for the bar and apartment, with Morgan and Jimmy conspiring sounds great. My only question is, are Jimmy and Morgan close enough to have plotted this surprise together?
I disagree about Chance's parents. There was never a relationship between his mother and father, therefore no reason to show why it "didn't work". It was a fluke all along.
The "picking a major" idea potentially has legs, and the idea of a bunch of lies spinning out of control certainly gives something for Chance to fight for: the truth.
But is it enough to have these lies things that others created? Let's look at how proactive Chance is:
Wants to leave bar: thwarted by Jimmy. Wants to eat and relax: thwarted by family & friends. Wants to maintain his story with parents: thwarted by reality of what's happening and who's there.
It just sounds like a lack of action on his part until the very end.
And we haven't even broached the idea of a fantasy yet...
Anyway, just some thoughts on how we can re-examine and take it farther/deeper...
We're getting into too many beats without a story. Too much minutiae that doesn't fit into a grand scheme.
We also have to be careful not to be repeating the same beats as "Bellhop of the Year". Chance already feels that his friends have passed him by.
The webisodes are all about his quarter-life crisis...So how can we present this one in a way that feels fresh? What's the hook? What are we trying to explore here?
If his parents are in the webisode, then it's about his relationship with his parents. That's where the core of the problem is. And it builds from there.
For example...
Jimmy is talking to Diane Billingham, late 40s, very attractive, very well-preserved. At first, Jimmy refers to her as Ms. Billingham. She asks him to call her Diane. A la Mrs. Robinson in "The Graduate", she's showing definite interest in Jimmy, (but in a subtle, sophisticated way). Jimmy is uncomfortable with where this is going...but Diane reels him back in (because she's better at this game than Jimmy is), tapping into his curiosity, telling him that there's no better combination than youth and experience. And she's got the experience. All kinds of experience.
She tells him which hotel she's staying at - (the one where Chance works as a bellhop) - and what room number.
Chance enters. He's sees Diane.
Chance: Mom.
As they share an awkward hello...
Diane: Please, darling. I asked you not to call me that. It makes me feel so...maternal.
Later in the story...
A good-looking, charming 60-year-old pot head is hitting on Morgan. She's amused by him, but tells him she's a lesbian. He says that he's a pot head, but he can put that aside for an hour or so - (suggesting that they spend that time in bed together).
Chance enters...and sees the pot head.
Chance: Dad.
(It's no coincidence that his parents both show up. The fact that Diane is in town could trigger it.)
Later, Diane calls the Nowhere from her hotel room and orders coffee, like room service, and asks Jimmy to bring it over. And she's very persistent about it.
Jimmy needs to talk to Chance. He didn't want to mention this before, but now he has to. It forces Chance to be the guy with the answers. And this is the last problem Chance wants to hear.
The story could build to a scene with Chance and his mother - a successful woman who lives in hotel rooms (because of all of her business travels), and has no one in her life...and she's showing her vulnerability for the first time to her son.
Diane is going through a mid-life crisis. Chance realizes that he and his mother are going through some amazingly similar feelings.
It would allow us to turn everything around and force Chance to deal with the same issues he's dealing with...but he's doing it by helping someone else...who just happens to be his mother.
It's a parent-child moment in the end. But in this moment, Chance is now the parent, and his mother is the child.
Me and spencer are kind of intrigued by the idea of meeting the parents before the birthday party, but what happened to the birthday party? We would like to bring the parents to the party after we initially meet them hitting on Jimmy & Morgan. But if we eliminate the birthday party, then a good chunk of our story and everything we talked about in class is gone.
16 comments:
OK, so here we are again. Let's do some blogging this time, eh? In a way, perhaps it's not such a bad thing that we got nowhere last week with the hypochondriac, since we found something so much more organic to our general premise! This is our chance to explore Chance's reaction to his quarter life crisis (QLC). The impending day looms large and daunting in his brain. What will it make him do...
I sure like the idea of playing off the angel/devil Morgan/Jimmy influence angle. It sounds like it would work really well if Jimmy is a bit younger, but so much better situated in his life than Chance. It would create a bigger obstacle for him, in that he feels pressure to get his act together when his friend is ahead of him in terms of progress in his life.
Likewise, I think it sets up Morgn to mentor him as the angel on his other shoulder if she is a few years older (like maybe 28). It just feels right for her character, too. She's savvy, insightful, and knows human nature. She's like a gentle old soul, it seems to me from what we've made of her so far.
So Chance is dreading the big two-five (maybe he even calls it something like that because he can't bring himself to even utter the number twenty-five in this context). He wants it to go away, because it represents what he HASN'T accomplished yet in life. He doesn't want to celebrate. But Jimmy talks him into doing something. He eases Chance into it by suggesting just the two of them go out. But he has a bigger plot in store. He knows this is a big deal to Chance, and he's got the big idea to "force" him to celebrate and accept it. This way, his efforts can actually end up helping Chance get through it and move on in his life, but on Jimmy's terms.
Maybe it's even Jimmy actually planning a formal "surprise party" at the Nowhere. He can tell Chance to meet him there at closing, and they'll go out from there. Then, when Chance shows up, he expects a dark coffee house, closed and ready for Jimmy to depart, but then opens the door and BANG; surprise, parents and all.
As far as including the parents, that has to either be totally planned, and Chance is aware and expecting them (dealing with the fact that they're coming), or it's a total surprise and he has to deal with it when they're right there in front of him.
I think Morgan should really save the day, too. That will be a great catalyst for their friendship to deepen.
I just don't know what the big decision is, or thing he has to deal with, accept and get past. He needs a clear objective for the overall story. I don't think it can just be "surviving the day" or "getting through the 25th birthday". The idea of using the parents and playing off them seems like there's potential, but what is it exactly that he wants? What does he DO in the end to make everything better for himself? And how is that influenced by Jimmy/Morgan? Can they all end up being winners? Jimmy did a bad thing by setting Chance up with a surprise, knowing he really didn't want it. But it turns out to be great because it's where Chance ends up resolving some big issue. Morgan, of course, can be her ususal politically correct self. Perhaps she has some insight into the value of family or something that helps Chance see the light.
Anyway, I just wanted to get this thing started ASAP. Let's blog this sucker out, and get a beat list together so Spencer and Stu can work from there. We've got to work very fast if they are going to write it this week and present it on Sunday!
That's a mouth full.
Yeah, too bad I'm the only mouth doing any talking on here. Shame, really. But, oh well, at least we have seven webisodes drafted... Too bad everyone isn't super gung ho about all this. But we'll get some good work done on Sunday, so that's a bonus. But this is our last story to break down into beats. Losing momentum in the end is just a bummer.
Anyway, hoping to hear more ideas...
Class,
I am definitely on the side of a younger Jimmy and an older Morgan. It feels right to both the show and the episode. Having Chance feel older and less accomplished than his best friend gives him reason to feel shame and embarrassment.
While I like the Nowhere and spending time there seemed to be thematic of the show, I think it’d be nice to start the show in a bar with Chance desperately wanting to get home. In a quick page we could establish a) his birthday and b)his adamance to celebrate. Perhaps he hasn’t eaten everything all day and gets tipsy quite fast, and wants to be rushed home. Jimmy takes him home to find his entire family and friends at his house with a surprise party. I like getting him back to the apartment because it gives him nowhere to run: home should be a place of comfort, and to have his space invaded would give a large impact and also be more surprising than Chance having to go somewhere to be surprised. What do you guys think? It seems Morgan could be the one who set it up at his house with Jimmy as the distraction.
This puts us, on page two at his birthday party, at home, with family, Jimmy, and Morgan.
I’ve always been drawn to the contrast between Chance’s father and Chance’s mothers husband. To have pops as an outspoken, liberty loving sweetheart with a fried brain, and Chance’s step-dad as a tail between his legs follower type, it could show quickly how the relationship didn’t work, as well as how controlling and demanding his mother can be. Then we can use that relationship to contrast his mother’s caring, matronly side giving her three dimensionality: tyrannical, compassionate, and realist. Even though the parents lives are much different: I think their greatest source of conflict with one another should be similarities: stubborn, opinionated folk make great conflict. At the same time their overbearing decisive nature can eclipse Chance’s opportunity to
In my mind the entire party and cast should be a surprise to Chance and a great shock. At the same time, we have to introduce in that opening scene between Jimmy/Chance what the conflict is that he must overcome in this episode.
In class we talked about Morgan pretending to be his girlfriend. I think idea has potential, but it would seem to take over as the conflict. I think if this was the case, the big breakthrough would be Chance being straightforward and honest with his parents. It seems the conflict would grow if we have a few different facets of Chance’s character that they have long-assumed. Perhaps they think he is going to be a doctor or want to push his career in a certain way. Maybe mom thinks he should move back home so she can help him get his life on track. If we had three or so different issues that his mother/parents keep pushing on him then his big breakthrough at his end could be coming clean. While his mother will get pissed, she could goto Morgan to brag about how proud her son has made her by standing up for himself. The episode could arc with Chance being passive and complaining, and end with him being strong, assertive and outspoken. This could instill a real sense of pride and confidence in our character who is having trouble dealing with his QLC. It definitely needs more flesh but the week is passing quickly.
So my beats so far as something like this:
Chance and Jimmy at a bar. Chance complaining he doesn’t want to be there, wanting to go home and eat. Jimmy asks for a few more minutes, pressuring him to have a second drink and relax. He believes not everyone can have the great luck he has had in life, and that Chance is free to continue mooching off his good fortune.
By the time they get home, Chance is pretty out of it. Surprise! His entire family. The parents have, by now, assumed he is dating Morgan, who doesn’t have the heart to say otherwise (do we want Carly there too, making it uncomfortable and giving chance more reason to feel out of sorts?). His dad loves what he has done with the place (Morgan cleaned it) and his mother thinks he is going to move home when his lease is up. Chance can barely get a word in sideways. Some sort of assumption of medical or law school should be setup as well?
Eventually the lies snowball until Chance is cornered and can either be passive or take action. His action is to clean the slate, denounce Morgan as his girlfriend, admit she left him for Carly, that he is not in medical school and he will not be moving home. Is this enough of a revelation to carry the episode?
His mother should leave mad and Morgan can follow her to be a comfort. Dad should be baked and proud of his son for being himself, even if it is a deadbeat like his father. Jimmy has some feelings, any thoughts? Where should we end?
Spencer B
I liked the idea that Jimmy set Chance up as something that he's not and feels he has to live up to. Whereas on the other side, (angel) Morgan, may go along reluctantly, but thinks that Chance should be himself. So Chance is pressured to feel that he has all these obligation, and at the end he realizes that Morgan was right and somehow tells/shows his parents the truth.
Adam,
That is a good call. If Jimmy is the one who propagates the lies, Chance's effort to be truthful will counteract his habitual Jimmy following (an element Stu and I both want to explore) as well as show his growth as a human. What lies are you guys feeling would be symbolic of his growth? The Morgan as pretend girlfriend is what we were tossing around, but I think having three falsities would be stronger. Our chance variables seem to revolve around a) women b) school c)career and d) social issues.
Spencer B
Well if you guys are dead set on doing it that way then I don’t want to fight anybody on it. I think the best thing at this point is just to make Chance, Jimmy and Morgan the best they can be.
What I mean by that exactly is making sure they’re very different. I don’t think it’s enough that have different backgrounds or taste, but just completely different ways of thinking.
I think if Jimmy does one thing, Morgan should want something different, and Chance still should be different still. I think when Chance is doing one thing, and Jimmy is doing the same thing or Morgan’s doing the same thing, it makes their characters bleed together.
I’m not just talking about this script, but all of them, even if we have to tweak. I don’t know, it's kind of late at this point, but it’s something to keep in mind I guess. I really have nothing else to add, but still if it could be helpful in some small way then that’s good… right?
I would hope that our efforts make this the best it can be.
I think it'd be a good idea to bring up the finally picking a major, 'cause I don't think we've explored the professional student thing enough.
Hey class,
I know I'm a lazy asshole, but I'm finally blogging!
Adam - Having Chance pick a major would definitely be another step in the "right" direction for his character, but I think we risk losing some of the variety in the show's premises. A lot of the premises derive from Chance's current major.
Me and Spencer are currently working on the script, we plan to have it completed by tomorrow afternoon/evening.
Oh, I don't mean he actually picks a major, I just mean somehow it's implied that he has, and his parents think he has, so he has to go along with that, but maybe he keeps getting the majors mixed up.
all just part of the farce.
Sorry for the multiple posts in a row (my machine gun post), I imagine that to Chance, every major is the one. Just a thought.
The idea for the bar and apartment, with Morgan and Jimmy conspiring sounds great. My only question is, are Jimmy and Morgan close enough to have plotted this surprise together?
I disagree about Chance's parents. There was never a relationship between his mother and father, therefore no reason to show why it "didn't work". It was a fluke all along.
The "picking a major" idea potentially has legs, and the idea of a bunch of lies spinning out of control certainly gives something for Chance to fight for: the truth.
But is it enough to have these lies things that others created? Let's look at how proactive Chance is:
Wants to leave bar: thwarted by Jimmy.
Wants to eat and relax: thwarted by family & friends.
Wants to maintain his story with parents: thwarted by reality of what's happening and who's there.
It just sounds like a lack of action on his part until the very end.
And we haven't even broached the idea of a fantasy yet...
Anyway, just some thoughts on how we can re-examine and take it farther/deeper...
See most of you tomorrow...
We're getting into too many beats without a story. Too much minutiae that doesn't fit into a grand scheme.
We also have to be careful not to be repeating the same beats as "Bellhop of the Year". Chance already feels that his friends have passed him by.
The webisodes are all about his quarter-life crisis...So how can we present this one in a way that feels fresh? What's the hook? What are we trying to explore here?
If his parents are in the webisode, then it's about his relationship with his parents. That's where the core of the problem is. And it builds from there.
For example...
Jimmy is talking to Diane Billingham, late 40s, very attractive, very well-preserved. At first, Jimmy refers to her as Ms. Billingham. She asks him to call her Diane. A la Mrs. Robinson in "The Graduate", she's showing definite interest in Jimmy, (but in a subtle, sophisticated way). Jimmy is uncomfortable with where this is going...but Diane reels him back in (because she's better at this game than Jimmy is), tapping into his curiosity, telling him that there's no better combination than youth and experience. And she's got the experience. All kinds of experience.
She tells him which hotel she's staying at - (the one where Chance works as a bellhop) - and what room number.
Chance enters. He's sees Diane.
Chance: Mom.
As they share an awkward hello...
Diane: Please, darling. I asked you not to call me that. It makes me feel so...maternal.
Later in the story...
A good-looking, charming 60-year-old pot head is hitting on Morgan. She's amused by him, but tells him she's a lesbian. He says that he's a pot head, but he can put that aside for an hour or so - (suggesting that they spend that time in bed together).
Chance enters...and sees the pot head.
Chance: Dad.
(It's no coincidence that his parents both show up. The fact that Diane is in town could trigger it.)
Later, Diane calls the Nowhere from her hotel room and orders coffee, like room service, and asks Jimmy to bring it over. And she's very persistent about it.
Jimmy needs to talk to Chance. He didn't want to mention this before, but now he has to. It forces Chance to be the guy with the answers. And this is the last problem Chance wants to hear.
The story could build to a scene with Chance and his mother - a successful woman who lives in hotel rooms (because of all of her business travels), and has no one in her life...and she's showing her vulnerability for the first time to her son.
Diane is going through a mid-life crisis. Chance realizes that he and his mother are going through some amazingly similar feelings.
It would allow us to turn everything around and force Chance to deal with the same issues he's dealing with...but he's doing it by helping someone else...who just happens to be his mother.
It's a parent-child moment in the end. But in this moment, Chance is now the parent, and his mother is the child.
Bob,
Me and spencer are kind of intrigued by the idea of meeting the parents before the birthday party, but what happened to the birthday party? We would like to bring the parents to the party after we initially meet them hitting on Jimmy & Morgan. But if we eliminate the birthday party, then a good chunk of our story and everything we talked about in class is gone.
The rough script has been drafted, I am sure you will all have plenty of feedback for our Monday night revision. Please leave it here or via email.
The Birthday Party
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